Learning to love

It’s one of the most cliched topics in the book: learning to love once more after a traumatic loss. But for so many of us, it’s a pivotal moment in our lives that redefines how we think and feel. There are few that can say that they’ve gone through their entire lives without ever once experiencing the pain that is a broken heart, and it’s a universal experience that ends up uniting us all. Whether you were 16, 29 or 50, the first time it happens is a heart wrenching experience. Some people are never the same: always loving from a distance or without any particular passion again.


But for many of us, time heals all wounds, and we return to the pursuit of pleasure again eventually. Whether this a conscious choice or not is another matter. For some, that moment where we say: I’m well enough to be doing this again, to be putting myself out there and really enjoying it, is one that we wait for and prepare for extensively. It’s one that isn’t easy but is thoroughly necessary. In many cases, that will involve talking to friends, and generally working out exactly what we want. Running down that list of hangups and ticking them off 1 by 1, knowing that we’re ready to forgive and forget. That’s in an ideal world anyway.


In reality, it happens to most of us by chance. We’re still somewhat broken and bitter until someone comes into our lives that we can’t help but feel for. Someone that doesn’t just stoke our passions but also makes our hearts somewhat naive and hopeful again. It’s not an easy process and for many of us it’s actually one that’s exceedingly difficult. Plenty of people go out of their way to avoid feeling that way, and will cocoon themselves away and avoid the situations that might lead to it. But even if you never go on another date, sometimes love can sneak into your life. Through a friend, a colleague or someone you never expected, love tends to find a way to always make its presence known and god help you if you’re going to try and play it at it’s own game.


Which is why sometimes you just need to accept those feelings and go with them. Ride that train all the way to it’s destination and accept that the adventure is coming. And when it does, it’s going to be a amazing. Like seriously, seriously amazing. So good that it will make you forget about the past and finally let go of all those worries. Let those scars heal and remind you that actually, things can really be alright. And all it takes for you to feel that way to is to give yourself and the other person a chance. We know that it’s hard, we know that it’s scary but it’s something that you just have to do if you want to get on with your life. Once you’ve made that change, taken that chance, really gone for it, you’ll honestly wonder why you didn’t do it before.


So do it. Take today and go for the girl of your dreams. Don’t wait for her to come along at the perfect moment or worry about the small things or make any of the excuses that we know are probably forming in your mind right now. Just go for it, and enjoy yourself. After all, life is short and that perfect opportunity might never come along. So be brave, be bold and start to love again.

April 11, 2018


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