Morning Perk Up

There’s nothing quite like a trip to the Med in early summer. The morning breeze rolling in as the sun rises, the smell of freshly ground beans drifting through the air. You’re inevitably drawn into an espresso bar, like a moth to the flame. You order a shot, or a double, and then you’re on your way, the start of a fresh, wonderful day. It’s a beautiful fantasy of a moment, the best things in life distilled into a single experience. It’s what a London escort is to a normal girl, what dining at Petrus is to a fast food burger.

So inevitably, trying to recreate it at home is just going to be disastrous. We’re talking about the kind of sad little shot of coffee that would make any real Italian cry. Limp, weak and generally flat, homemade espresso is a painful thing. Even with a bialetti on the stovetop, the chances of you getting anything close to what you’ve experienced before is minimal.

What can you do? Well, you could hit up one of the capital’s many fantastic espresso bars. You’ll be paying serious money but you’ll get a nice cup of coffee. They are professionals after all, and the days of weak nespresso crap are over. You’ll get the best robusta, from people that know what they’re doing. The one caveat to that of course, is that London is full of people that look professional, talk with authority, have it all down to a tee but can’t actually walk the walk when it comes down to it. Find a good coffee shop but don’t settle for anything less than great: there are plenty of weak pretenders out there that will charge full price but deliver something inferior. Be it coffee or London escorts, there’s always people like that out there.

Or, you could do something a bit more bold. It’ll be a serious investment, and you’ll need to put work into it. Do that though and you’ll reap the rewards. What are we talking about, of course, is buying a real machine. No wait, come back, don’t run. It doesn’t mean you have to grow a hipster beard, it doesn’t mean you need to become obsessed with it. A good machine is going to run you anywhere from £300-500, a hefty investment true. And you will need time to learn how to make it work perfectly. But what is that? A weekend’s time and the price of a hundred and something cappuccinos. If you’re drinking coffee regularly, you’ll actually be saving money within a year or so.

So why not try it? It might be daunting, but we bet seeing one of our escorts in London was too. And look how that worked out for you! Sometimes, you have to be big, you have to be bold and you have to take a massive leap. If you do that, you can expect to get something exceptional in return. Before you know it, you’ll be complaining about the crema on your espressos like the rest of us in this crazy cult of coffee.

March 29, 2016


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